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why-am-i-pluto:

Figured tumblr might like to see this.

"You start where you can make a difference."

why-am-i-pluto:

Figured tumblr might like to see this.

"You start where you can make a difference."

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asker

dragondicktittysprinkles asked: I just wanted to say I love your blog and have been following you since about your first couple of posts on sleepy sheep reads fifty shades of grey. Your have an amazing sense of humor and i feel that you need to know this. :)

Aww, thanks! *blushes*

I know I’ve been embarrassingly slack about the Fifty Shades of Grey blogging. I need to complete it, but I have yet to finish reading the book; it’s so awful and there are so many good books out there… actually, there are so many books out there. Don’t really need the ‘good’ qualifier. ‘Less shit’ would suffice.

I also started a new job/career last year, and it’s been quite time consuming (both in terms of hours and commuting). Couple that with the original writing and other work I try to do in my spare time (and, you know, keeping a social life of some form going :) ) it’s left me with very little time to tumble (is that a verb? It should be).

But I do appreciate you saying this; it does spur me on to at least try to get another chapter blogged in the not-too-distant future.

asker

audreyii-fic asked: So-- Who!thoughts?

Hey! Excellent timing - I haven’t checked Tumblr for an age, and you send me a Who question to get me typing… I’m assuming you’ve seen it, so if you haven’t - spoilers abound (I can’t find the tags bit on replying to messages, so I apologise in advance):

SPOILERS

Read More

l-laymitch:

why does everyone hate twilight so much when there are gems like this throughout the whole thing

Because pretty much all of those gems came from the people making the films, and not the books themselves*.

*To be completely fair, there are moment in the books; however, these are never expanded upon and get buried under the painful prose, poorly handled literary techniques, dodgy over-arching messages and appalling Black-Hole-sue-ism.

(via zepzepsbizarreadventure)

I will admit it. I have read all three books in the Fifty Shades of Grey series.

I am not admitting this because I am ashamed of my sexual desires or even because I feel the need to rant and rave about the poor writing quality of these books. (And it is extremely poor. I set my Kindle to count how many times the word “gasp” is used in the third book and the total was more than 70). I am admitting this because I feel the need to share my opinions about what I consider to be the incredibly — and dangerously — abusive relationship portrayed in the books.

When I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey and learned they began as Twilight fanfiction, I swore I would not read them. I have read all of the Twilight books and I did not enjoy them. I found the relationships between Edward and Bella and Bella and Jacob to be patronizing and emotionally abusive, and I also thought the writing was pedestrian at best and boring to read. Why would I devote the limited amount of time I have for reading for pleasure to a series like this?

But as the dialogue about Fifty Shades of Grey increased, both in the media and amongst my friends, my curiosity was piqued. I attended a talk titled “Fifty Shades of Grey - Bad for Women, Bad for Sex” and decided that I should see what all the fuss was about.

To quote the book, I gasped. I rolled my eyes. I even bit my lip a few times. But not for the reasons Anastasia, the protagonist, did. I did out of exasperation, boredom and disgust, but also out of fear. After reading this book series, I am deeply afraid that this type of relationship will be viewed as the romantic ideal for women. And I consider that to be extremely dangerous — much more so than anything that takes place between Christian and Anastasia in the Red Room of Pain.

Could the character of Anastasia Steele be any more of a stereotype? She is an introvert, has low self-esteem, has abandonment issues from her father, apparently has only one close friend who bullies her and even though she works in a hardware store, she doesn’t seem to possess any self-sufficiency aside from cooking for her roommate and herself. She seems to have no sexual identity until Christian Grey enters her life and requests that she become his Submissive in a sexual relationship.

In order to be Christian’s submissive, Anastasia is expected to sign a lengthy and detailed contract that, amongst other requirements, requires that she exercise four days a week with a trainer that Christian provides (and who will report to Christian on her progress), eat only from a list of foods Christian supplies her with, get eight hours of sleep a night and begin taking a form of birth control so Christian will not have to wear condoms. Anastasia negotiates a few terms of the contract with Christian (she only wants to work out three days a week, not four), but all of her negotiations are only within his framework — none of the terms are hers independently. Nothing in their relationship is hers as an independent.

The character of Christian Grey is a rich, superpowered businessman who was abused as a child. He is in therapy, and Anastasia frequently references his therapist, but based on how he treats Anastasia, he doesn’t seem to be making much progress. As Anastasia’s relationship with Christian progresses, his controlling tendencies affect her life more and more. When her friend takes portraits of her for his photography exhibit, Christian buys all of them, because he does not want anyone else looking at Anastasia. (They weren’t even in a relationship when he did this.) When she is hired as an assistant at a publishing company, he buys the company — to make sure she’s “safe” working there. When she goes out to a bar with her one friend, against his wishes, he flies from New York to Washington State that same night, just to express his anger — and exercise his control over her. When she does not immediately change her name at her office (in hopes of maintaining some professional autonomy, given that he bought the company she works at), he shows up, unannounced, at her office, in the middle of her workday, to pick a fight with her. When she asks why it is so important to him that she change her name, he says he wants everyone to know she is his.

Christian’s possession of Anastasia is the cause of much of my disgust and fear of the book’s influence on people and how they view romantic relationships. After they exchange their wedding vows, the first words he says to her are, “Finally, you’re mine.” The control he exercises over her does not reflect his love for her; it reflects his objectifying of her. Christian never views Anastasia as a person, let alone an independent woman. He wants her to obey him, and even though she refuses to include that in her wedding vows, it is exactly what she does. When her mother questions her choice to keep her wedding dress on rather than change before traveling for her honeymoon, she says, “Christian likes this dress, and I want to please him.” Her desire to try some of the “kinky fuckery” in his Red Room of Pain comes from wanting to demonstrate her love for him, not her own sexual desires.

Wanting to please Christian apparently includes subjecting herself to verbal and emotional abuse from him ‘til death do them part, because any time she tries to stand up to him — which isn’t often — he berates her, guilt trips her and beats her down verbally until she apologizes and submits to him. After she uses the “safe word” in the Red Room of Pain so he will stop, he bemoans his sad state of mind later, mentioning that his “wife fucking safe worded him.” He is not concerned with her well-being or why she felt the need to use the safe word. He only cares about how it affects him.

The question that I kept asking myself as I read the books was why Anastasia stayed with Christian, and the answer I found was that she has absolutely no sense of self worth. She only feels sexy when he says she is, and when he insults or patronizes her, she accepts what he says as the truth. One of the passages that disgusted me the most was when Anastasia was at a club with Christian, dancing and thinking to herself that she never felt sexy before she met him and that he had given her confidence in her body. Yes, being with a partner who frequently compliments you can increase your confidence, but Anastasia went from zero to one hundred thanks to Christian. None of that came from within herself. Because of his influence on her, nothing in her life came from herself — her job, her home, her way of life, or even her self-esteem.

The co-dependency between Anastasia and Christian is alarming to read and even more to contemplate. When she breaks up with him at the end of the first book, the second book finds her starving herself and wasting away to nothing until he contacts her again. When she thinks his helicopter has crashed in the second book, she thinks to herself that she can’t live without him. Their marriage only comes about because he is scared she will leave him, and when she asks what she can do to prove to him she isn’t going anywhere, he says she can marry him. Yes, origins of insecurity and desperation are a great start to a healthy marriage.

When Anastasia finds herself unexpectedly pregnant and shares the news with Christian, he rages at her, asking if she did it on purpose and storming out of the house, disappearing for hours. Even though Anastasia thinks to herself that the pregnancy happened too soon in their marriage, she never considers terminating it.

The themes of the novel — that love alone can make someone change, that abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he’s great in bed, that pregnancies should always be carried to term even if the parents are not ready to be parents, and the ridiculously antiquated, Victorian idea that the love of a pure virgin can save a wayward man from himself — are irrational, unbelievable and dangerous.

Our culture has seen a radical shift of ideals moving towards traditional gender roles and Fifty Shades of Grey is a shining example of that. Early marriage to one’s first sexual partner, having a baby even when saying neither of the partners is ready to be a parent, and submission to one’s husband as the head of the household are all aspects of life that feminists and progressive thinkers have worked to move beyond. Anastasia and Christian’s relationship is not romantic. It is abusive. The ways he tries to “keep her safe” are not masculine or sexy. They are stalking. Fearing one’s husband’s reaction to an unexpected pregnancy is not normal, because “boys will be boys.” It is sad and dangerous and should not happen in a healthy relationship.

Fifty Shades of Grey was one of the best-selling books of the year. Sex toy classes have been inspired by it, as have new types of cocktails. The film adaptation is already in the works. I sincerely hope that honest discussion will be had about the book and that the Christian Grey ideal of romance is not one that will be perpetuated throughout our culture. The best way that can happen is through open, honest dialogue that leads to healthy relationships of two equal partners. That, in my opinion, is sexier than anything that can happen in the Red Room of Pain.

Fifty Shades of Feminism - A Response to E. L. James’ 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

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Spread this like wildfire on all media!

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skellettes:

sneak peek from 50 shades of gray!!

skellettes:

sneak peek from 50 shades of gray!!

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asker

Anonymous asked: Shut the fuck up about 50 shades of grey. No one fucking cares

myheartbelongstoabarricadeboy:

infamousmoriarty:

oh hun

let me just give you a quick run down of all the things wrong with this ask:

1-you assume i care what some asshole anon has to say when i have 300 pounds and i’m going kikass birthday shopping today

2-you assume id care about some asshole anon any other day of the year

3-i care about the 50 shades of grey thing. and whether you do or not is irrelevant to me because you are, after all, just an asshole anon

4- this is my blog and i’ll post whatever the fuck i want, if you cant take three fucking posts about something without turning into a soggy cum stained dishrag then i suggest you make use of that unfollow button because youre gross

5- lemme break this down for you

if you dont care about this 50 shades situation, you need to grow the fuck up and look at the facts

the fact is the book was so misinformed that all the practises about bdsm culture were ignored and shit all over.

he ignores the safeword

he legitimately rapes her

he never explains everything about bdsm culture to her, shes so misinformed its ridiculous

and all of this is going even more public than it already has and its being romanticised and released on valentines day 

like “happy valentines honey! i bought some ropes i dont actually know how to tie and a whip i dont actually know how to use and i’m going to just gloss over the fact you’re uncomfortable because that clearly doesnt matter!”

incorrect use of a whip can cause organ failure

incorrect knots used on wristst or feet can literally cause them to need to be amputated

its perpetuating rape culture in ways ive never seen it be advanced to this leve; and if you dont care then youre truly disgusting 

you dont care about the kids not fully understanding their sexuality being abused by older people who they think are totally allowed to do this shit?

you dont care about the people that will be raped because of this because hey apparently rape is sexy?

you dont care about the fact that the bdsm culture is, once again, being portrayed as people who are fucked up and must have been abused to be that way rather than normal people who enjoy a kink in their own homes?

you dont care about the fact that youre not supposed to bleed on your first time. ever. and now tons more girls are going to think that its completely normal? that tons more guys will? that tons of people are going to think its expected for the female to bleed when SHE WONT IF SHES BEEN SUFFICIENTLY TURNED ON AND STRETCHED ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD

you dont care about the stereotype of subs not actually enjoying bdsm culture is being widespread? that all subs dislike it and simply have an ulterior motive?

you dont care about the underlying message of the book being “a woman should give everything, including herself, to a man”?

you dont care about all the people in abusive relationships that will think “oh well this must be normal then” and stay there?

christian grey is a run-of-the-mill abusive boyfriend. he isnt a dom. 

a dom loves his/her sub completely and the motto of bdsm is "safe, willing and sane" (or something like that anyone feel free to correct me)

it means that both partners have to be completely willing, with boundaries, safewords and everything worked out before they even think about touching eachother intimately. 

if something is a boundary, you dont fucking do it

that simple

if the safeword is used it stops. everything stops

that simple

a dom should treat his sub like a goddamn princess (unless they have prearranged and understand that he wont eg-pet play, slave play where anything outside of the bedroom is also in the same dynamic HOWEVER IT IS STILL CONSENSUAL SO IT IS STILL OKAY)

a dom is not christian grey

but millions of people are going to think he is and are going to think that thats the way bdsm should be and they’ll get involved in something very dangerous if they dont have the real facts.

that people will think its romantic because this shit is scheduled for valentines day  to treat your partner like shit, abuse her, and that what? getting them off absorbs you of all your shit? no. this is so fucking gross and im not taking a backseat when this shit happens

so in conclusion

literally fuck you, you insensitive fuck stain, this issue is so fucking important.

Important

kummersaurus:

crying because 50 shades of grey

kummersaurus:

crying because 50 shades of grey

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